Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Best Medicine

Someone sent me this in an e-mail. Not sure where it originated, but it will lighten a heavy heart, that's for sure.

 Subject: Children writing about the ocean
1- This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.   (Kelly,  age 6)                                                        
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age  6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island.  If you don't  have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.   (, age  7) 

4) - Sharks are  ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily  Richardson She's not my  friend any more.   (Kylie, age 6) 
5) - A dolphin  breaths through an asshole on the top of its head..  (Billy, age  8)                                                                      
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a  woman and pots and comes back with crabs.  (Millie, age  6)
7) - When ships  had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when  the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to  make the wind come.  My  brother said they would have been better off eating beans.  (William,  age7)                                                                      
8) -  Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like  their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?     Like,  really?   (Helen, age 6)
9) - Some fish  are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.  Electric eels can give you a shock..  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug  themselves in to chargers.  (Christopher, age  7)
10) - When you  go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)
11)  - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.  Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.  (Becky, age 8)
12) - On  vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was  going very fast.  She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  (Julie, age 7)
13)  - The ocean is made up of water and fish.  Why the fish don't drown I don't know.  (Bobby, age 6)
14) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all  about the ocean.    What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.   (James, age 7) 


  1. Trying really hard not too laugh too loud as the kids are in bed!
    These are hilarious!

  2. Ohgawd I love the way children's minds work.