Friday, September 9, 2011

Paranormal Romance Novel: How To Flirt With a Naked Werewolf, Author: Molly Harper, Recipe: Chocolate Chess Squares

 IS PEEING ON YOUR DOORSTEP TO MARK YOU AS HIS TERRITORY ROMANTIC?

"When I was a kid I welcomed every birthday because it put me one year closer to my moving out on my own." How To Flirt With a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

I remember that feeling. Of course, then it happened and I had bills to pay, dishes to do, laundry to wash. It was enough to make a grown woman want to play dress up and pull out the minature tea set and have a tea party with the cat.

"And if he had an incredibly small penis, it might explain why he was such an ass all the time." How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

So true. Especially if you consider he's probably doing all his thinking with that tiny head as they're often inclined to do.

We've talked about lines that inspire envy in us as writers because we really wish we had come up with them. Well here's another one:

"Cooper was exactly the type of guy I would have had sex with before the first date..." How To Flirt With a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

Maybe it will help us to forgive Molly for being so brilliant if we find a recipe for something yummy she talks about in the book - chocolate chess squares.
INGREDIENTS:
1 (18 ounce) box light devils food cake mix
1 egg
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 tablespoon water
8 ounces light cream cheese
1 lb powdered sugar
3 egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
DIRECTIONS:
Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
Coat a 13 x 9 pan with cooking spray.
Combine cake mix, egg, butter, and water by hand.
Now, pat the batter mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan.
In a mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and egg whites until smooth.
Add the vanilla extract. Pour mixture over batter.
Bake 45 minutes or until top is golden, cool and cut into squares
ENJOY!

"Just then the loud screeching of a smoke alarm sounded over Alan's shoulder. As he turned, I could see smoke billowing from the kitchen." How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

Lately for me that just means dinner is done. I can't cook anymore. Not that I want to, mind you.

"If I go into your office and find an Alan doll with pins stuck in its crotch, I will be super-pissed." How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

I wonder where one finds those kind of dolls. And do they make special crotch pins? I can think of a few politicians I'd like to jab in the crotch with a nice sharp pin.

"It took too much energy to keep thinking up all those clever insults." How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

Yeah like - I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
OR - Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
OR - Who am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?

You have to set the bar lower or else you'll be trying to think up something nasty but witty when you really just want to say "Yeah, so's your mother."

"Until then, I see myself as a conservationist, protecting the local wildlife from idiots with firearms."  How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

We all need someone to protect us from idiots with firearms. Especially if he is the same kind of someone who makes a romantic gesture by giving us a 'thunderegg' and then cracking it open so it looks like this"


"...I was going to evaluate what it said about me as a person that I had some strange kind of relationship with a man I didn't particularly like, in which he was naked at least half of the time we spent together." How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper 

Yeah I'd like to figure out that myself about a couple of past relationships.

"By the way, did you say 'galdamn' back there? "
"There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'fiddledeedee,' run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders."  How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

I'm proud to say that both of those classy Southern words are part of my vocabulary.

"There's some sort of instinct coded into Southern DNA that sends us all running for the bread and milk aisle at the slightest sign of frozen precipitation."  How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

According to Garrison Keeler, Minnesota natives stock up on water chestnuts. I'd rather have milk and bread.

"And I assume that she doesn't settle for the time-honored Southern tradition of passive aggressive comments and insulting your cooking?" How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper

I bet y'all thought we were all sugar and spice. Ha!

This is not a book I would ordinarily have chosen to read. I picked it up because Molly lives in Paducah, KY. That's only 45 minutes from me. I thoroughly enjoyed it, though. It's part of a series and I can't wait to get book 2, The Art Of Seducing A Naked Werewolf.

She has another series about vampires. I'll let you check that out for yourself on her website as, if you know me, you know I don't like vampires. If you do - go to Molly Harper.com

Then come back and join me in watching a youtube video of Teddy Bears Picnic by Jerry Garcia which she also mentions in the book.



6 comments:

  1. I like guns and geodes. Not sure what that says about me (other than I like to make things go bang and rocks with sparkly stuff inside are cool), but there it is. Love the fiddledeedee line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That settles it. I HAVE to read that book. Can't believe I haven't discovered it before this!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will read about vampires. And werewolves. And ghosts. And witches... if they are done correctly. ;)

    Recipe!
    (I could add frosting right?)
    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have the sample of that book on my kindle but haven't gotten around to it yet. Sounds like fun-- werewolves and vampires aren't usually my cup of tea, but if it's well-written, I'll relent.

    Good luck on Monday, will be thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like all of those things, and yes, I also have multiple examples of "relationships" to illustrate a lot of those quotes ;-)

    Thanks for the tip on the read - I'll go snag it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This sounds like a fun read. I especially love your comments.

    I'm with Julie. Frosting. When my kids are done being healthy I'll have Jess make this cake. I would but we don't need another door stop, have all the bricks we need for the back patio, don't need chocolate flavored discus for the Olmpics. Yep, I'll wait until Jess can cook.

    ReplyDelete